Monday, April 13, 2015

Catching Up...Almost Two Years

It's weird being close to the two year mark of my diagnosis.  Some days two years ago feels like a decade and others it feels like minutes.  Lately it has felt like minutes and I'm not sure if it has to do with it coming up and my jealousy about my life before and my realization on how much I truly took for granted.

I remember I was looking forward to go to an Alice In Chains concert with my sissy as a birthday present....

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I was excited for my birthday coming up in May and celebrating with friends...

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Nervous about getting my first tattoo...

breast cancer, pgd, pre implantation genetic diagnosis, testing, babies, consent, survivor, li fraumeni, tp53, tamoxifen, froedtert, aurora, family, cancerversary

My step-mother was on the losing end of her battle with breast cancer and I was still working through the loss of my grandma.

breast cancer, pgd, pre implantation genetic diagnosis, testing, babies, consent, survivor, li fraumeni, tp53, tamoxifen, froedtert, aurora, family, cancerversary

I thought that was a very crazy time in my life, if I only knew what was ahead of me.  Needless to say although it is not a huge amount of anxiety, the upcoming "cancerversary" is slightly stressful.  But rather than mourn that day, I will embrace it by spending it with the people closest to me.

breast cancer, pgd, pre implantation genetic diagnosis, testing, babies, consent, survivor, li fraumeni, tp53, tamoxifen, froedtert, aurora, family, cancerversary

The hubs and I have been finding ourselves twiddling our thumbs now on our off days, not really knowing what to do.  Having nearly a 100+ less doctor appointments this year then I had last year and the previous two years makes for a way more open schedule.  Just a few days ago the hubs and I were walking around our house, almost pacing because we are so used to having a "honey-do" list a million miles long.  So we have been tying up loose ends with dentist appointments, car appointments, returning Tupperware and dishes people have left at our house, mailing letters that I forgot and have been organizing fools.  I feel like my life is less chaotic and I am embracing these moments.

I've been on Tamoxifin for a little over 5 months now and I have not had nearly the amount of traumatizing side effects that others have had.  I made the mistake of  reading online....(which I do not recommend that for anything cancer related until you are fully comfortable) and heard of everything from weight gain, to gnarly hot flashes, sleepless nights, exhausting days, among many other terrible side effects.  I have only really experienced weight LOSS, which I will take that since I gained a ridiculous 20+lbs while on Herceptin and have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.  I take it at night, before bed and I've only forgotten to take it 2-3 times, which is quite the feat for me!  As time goes by though it is definitely getting easier to take.  I look forward to the next 115 months of companionship with it, but no ones counting...

breast cancer, pgd, pre implantation genetic diagnosis, testing, babies, consent, survivor, li fraumeni, tp53, tamoxifen, froedtert, aurora

On a very happy note we are moving forward with getting our frozen babies tested.  For a quick recap, once I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had a bilateral mastectomy, which my doctor found out I had to go through chemotherapy.  With that said the hubby and I decided to go through an egg harvesting procedure and we came out with six embryos. I decided to go ahead with a full panel genetic testing, which came back BRCA 1/2 negative, but TP53 (Li Fraumeni) positive.  My parents were tested and both came back negative, so I thought my test was false.  I had a second test done which confirmed that yes I carry the genetic mutation.  With that said, after I cried my eyes out, and picked myself back up, I finished chemo, Herceptin and we decided to proceed with switching the embryos from their daycare at Aurora and bring them over to Froedtert, since through my research they are on top of PGD testing and my situation. 

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To get the initial part of the testing started, the hubs, myself sent in blood samples, as well as both of my parents sent out saliva samples to Natera so they could create the test.  Well the hubs and I are ready to get this party started and are going ahead with the testing.  So we went to Froedtert and signed the consent forms for the thawing and biopsy to occur.  Then they will send the samples to Natera, and the testing will happen and it takes about a week to get the results back.  TODAY, April 13th is the date for the biopsy....So if you can send us and our frozen babies as much good juju, sparkles, prayers and positive vibes that our embryos do not carry the mutation and we can grow our family soon.  ***Update: The lab called and advised they did not have time to squeeze in the frozen ones on the 13th and tentatively rescheduled their biopsy and ship-off date for April 23rd... I'll keep everyone posted as I find out info.

breast cancer, pgd, pre implantation genetic diagnosis, testing, babies, consent, survivor, li fraumeni, tp53


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