My Surgery....

Right now I'm sitting in my comfy recliner in my living room relaxing....Mostly cancer free.

Rewind to Wednesday, July 24th. The day before my surgery:


The night before my family and I went to dinner for a "Farewell  to Arnold" (The name I gave my tumor) dinner.  The food was so-so, but the company was great, which made it the perfect way to say bon voyage to my breast cancer.

Once dinner was done and the hubs and I were on our way home, the reality of my impending surgery really started to settle in.  It actually felt real at that point.  Once our bags were packed I passed out and what felt like five minutes later, I was awake and getting ready for the eviction of my stupid breast cancer.

The drive to the hospital was a haze.  There was so much running through my mind at that point that I really don't remember the drive.  We had to be at the hospital by 7:15AM and checked in with day surgery.  Not long after, my mom and her boyfriend arrived to keep me company, followed by my sister, aunt and dad.

I was brought into a room and had to change into the gown they provided me.  The room was cold, or maybe it was just me that was cold, I'm not quite sure.  Shortly thereafter, my aunt, sister, dad, and Denise (a photographer that my mom and I had teamed up with to document my entire breast cancer journey and the most amazing person ever) was making small talk, joking, just trying to keep our minds off of the fact that in a few hours I was going to be in the midst of a double mastectomy.  Although there were a few times that I had a break down...






I did have a date with Nuclear Medicine before my surgery.  I got wheeled down and they injected me with two separate injections. One in the area of my tumor and the other on the side of my breast closest to my lymph nodes.  These injections would help my surgeon locate them in surgery.  Here is a link that goes into a little more detail on what they exactly do.

I was told that the injections would feel like a  bee sting. The initial needle going in did NOT hurt at all, but to be honest once the doctor was pushing the cocktail in, concoctions of swear words came out of my mouth that I never knew could go together.  It felt like a mixture of stinging bees mixed with a deep burning sensation.  It wasn't the best feeling I've ever experienced, but they do give you a warm compress to help with the pain and it doesn't last very long at all.






Right after the last injection I had a COMPLETE and TOTAL meltdown!  I thought that it was all real the night before, or once I got into the hospital, but the reality of the past six weeks set in and it wasn't a pretty sight! I was just happy to have my mom there to give me comfort.  I don't really remember much of what she said, but all I know is it helped.

I was wheeled back to my room to wait. and wait. and wait some more.  My surgeon came in and told me that my surgery had to be delayed about 30 minutes because all the rooms were filled. Which I thought, "great, more time to think about how stressful this is."



Finally the time came to get wheeled to Pre-Op.  With teary eyes I got hugs and well wishes from my family.  It was hard but the hubs, my mom and Denise came with me, which really comforted me a lot!  Going into that cold, bright, empty room was scary but having the company of the two people who mean the most to me really helped. 








The Anesthesiologist came in and hooked up my IV, which by this point was painless.  I didn't really remember much at this point, but apparently I kept saying that the room was getting blurry because I didn't have my glasses on, and kept repeating it over and over again until I was out for the count.  Dr. Kepple came in and started to work her magic....

Later, while Dr. Hussussian was doing his part of the surgery, my surgeon, Dr. Kepple came to the waiting room and informed my family that they found cancerous cells that had spread to my lymph nodes that were removed, which meant that chemo is a definite path that I would have to take.  I had a gut feeling as soon as I found the lump and was diagnosed with breast cancer that I would have to go that route, and I mentally prepared myself for that news.  As much as I tried to prepare my family, I guess there wasn't a dry eye in the room when Dr. Kepple delivered the news.

What felt like 5 minutes later I woke up in another room completely drugged up and feeling relatively good for just having a double mastectomy.  I think one of the best feelings someone could have is waking up from surgery knowing you survived.  The nurse checked my vitals, took out my catheter, which I didn't even know I had in, and wheeled me to my room.  

It felt really good to get back to my room and see my husband and the rest of my family.

I was so in and out of it for a while after surgery that every time I came to, the conversation would be something like this:

Me: "So, did it spread to my lymph nodes?"
The hubs: "Yes it did spread to your lymph nodes, the doctors are going to take care of it, ok?"
Me: "Ok"

The hubs told me I had one tear that came down my face the first time I asked...then I passed out from being drugged up.

However long later...

Me: "So, I have to go through chemo?"
The hubs or my mom: "Yes sweetie you will."

*I pass out...from the really good pain drugs*

About an hour later....

Me: "Was I just dreaming, or do I have to go through Chemo?"
The hubs or my mom: "yes, honey."
Me: "ok"

*I pass out again...from being drugged up*

And again about an hour later...

Me: "So, I heard I have to go through Chemo, right?"
The hubs or my mom: "Yes Emily you'll have to go through Chemo."
Me: "oh, ok..."

I'm not really sure how long that went on for, but at one point in time I finally came to, a little pukey feeling and in a little more pain.

My one request was to have Taco Bell after I came out from surgery.  Taco Bell is a cure-all for me.  If I'm sad, Taco Bell helps, if I'm happy Taco Bells the best, if I'm mad, Taco Bell is a BFF to help me get over whatever I'm mad about, so I had this grand idea that Taco Bell would be perfect.  NOPE. Ate one chip and threw up. 



That was an epic fail.






My schedule for the rest of the day:

Sleep.
Cry.
Get out of bed.
Pee.
Puke.
Cry.
Get more drugs.
Feel better for a while.
Sleep.
Cry.
Get more drugs.
Get out of bed.
Pee.
Try to eat a cracker.
Puke up the cracker.
Cry some more.
Get more drugs.
Feel good for a while.

Rinse and repeat.

At one point I ate a cracker, drank some water and went to the bathroom.  I was starting to feel better, but still got nauseous and threw up.  I'm not sure if it was the drugs talking or what, but after I threw up I proceeded to say: "I really liked that saltine cracker" while kind of crying and went to bed.  I never threw up after that. Thank God!

I woke up the next morning feeling great.  I got up out of bed, was walking laps around the floor I was on, was joking, laughing and feeling really good!!  My family that saw me as a hot mess the day before were completely shocked on the complete 180 that happened over night.  I wasn't' as drugged up, I was moving around and very lively!

I was on a mission to get OUT of that hospital.  Not saying they weren't taking good care of me, I just felt that I could heal faster in the comfort of my home.





The nurses and doctors were absolutely phenomenal and I would recommend ANY woman who has the unfortunate circumstances of having to go through what I went through to go to the West Allis Women's Pavilion in West Allis, Wisconsin and having Dr. Kepple, teamed with Dr. Hussussian.  They are extremely detailed, both specializing in this type of surgery and reconstruction.  I felt extremely confident in both of them and know that when this is all done that I will have the best results possible! 

I am SO very blessed for not only my doctors, but the support from my family and friends during not only my initial surgery, but every step of the way they have been there 1000%.  From my mom & BD and my sister giving me moral support and laughs (and t-bell), to my mother-in-law & aunt Kathy bringing me wet wash clothes and taking care of me, to my wonderful, loving husband to has supported me and been my strength when I haven't had much, and to all of our friends who came up to the hospital to see me when I was not very coherent; words cannot even begin to express how grateful I am for every single person!

I was cleared to go home and was released around 5:30PM on Friday, July 26th.  Best feeling ever!!  It's almost the same feeling of the last day of school, walking out knowing you have the entire summer of fun in the sun.  Well my "summer vacation" or what I've been calling this entire thing, a "spa-cation" isn't going to be filled with fun in the sun, but rather taking care of business and "nipping this cancer in the breast!"

There are still a lot of appointments in the future and still a lot of unknowns.  This week alone, I made an appointment with my dentist on Thursday, I have a post-op appointment with Dr. Kepple on Friday, along with contacting Dr. Hussussian's office on Wednesday to let them know how much I'm draining out.  There are also a slew of appointments next week, but right now I'm taking it a day at a time.

I just called to find out about the results of my pathology on my lymph nodes, but  Dr. Kepple was in surgery working her magic and I was told that she would be calling me later today.

So right now, I sit and wait.

Every day I get a little better, get a little stronger and regain a little more of my sarcastic mouth!

Happy Tuesday!