3 Months

Hey it's the boys! We are THREE months old!

We just celebrated our first Halloween....

June was a lobster...a grumpy lobster.

and Mae was the cutest spaghetti and meatballs ever!

My hysterectomy is on Monday and I'm a little nervous for the surgery, beyond mad that I wish I could carry the third embryo and not have to deal with Stage IV cancer, sad that I won't be able to be pregnant again, but oh-so grateful that I had such an amazing pregnancy and carried my boys so long and have options.  I'm just a whirlwind of emotions and kind of a mess, but I hide it well.   

I found this a few days ago and thought this was perfect for my situation:

I just had my fourth round of chemo and my doctor told me that she was excited with how my numbers were at and based on that she hasn't been able to feel any lymph nodes in my neck for the last couple rounds it seems like it's working.  Rather then getting the PET Scan in November like I thought, we are waiting till December so I can get about two more rounds in and see how much ass this chemo cocktail is kicking.  My side effects aren't nearly as bad as the first time around but I'm still getting them.  I wasn't sure if my tiredness was from chemo or babies, or having babies then going on chemo, but now that the boys are sleeping consistently through the night I realize my exhaustion is indeed from the chemo.  My hands seem to be pretty sensitive (neuropathy maybe?) and I've noticed my hair seems to be thinner.  Not thin enough for everyone to notice, but I do.  Poor bathroom drain.  Finally, bloody noses...a few times a week, and when they happen it's a bloody massacre.  But I keep reminding myself that although I feel like shit, I can only imagine how the cancer must feel.

*Continued prayers, positive juju or whatever you can muster up would be amazing*