I did it.I shaved my head..well not me, but that hurdle is done and I am relieved. The week or so leading up to shaving my head I was going through a lot of different emotions. Some days I would get to a point where I just wanted to pull the buzzer out myself and shave it off and other days I would be a crying pissed off mess because then I felt that people would finally know that I was "cancer kid". I understood that yes, I was doing what I had to do to take care of business, but realizing I was coming to this point on this journey really didn't feel fair to me.
The morning of the head shaving I hopped in the shower and totally cried my eyes out when I realized I was washing my hair for the last time, then cried some more when I realized I was brushing my hair for the last time. I know it seems weird, like why would someone get that emotional over hair, but until you have to go through it then it's hard to explain. For me the whole getting rid of my boobs thing wasn't a big issue, but losing my hair really really bothered me beyond words. After my melt down, I finished getting ready and the hubs and I headed over to my moms. Shortly after we got there my favorite person ever, Denise met us there with her awesome hair stylist and we decided to get started. Surprisingly by this time I was actually kind of excited to get started. With the help of Denise she got me feeling beautiful and we went outside to get started on my hair!
I wanted to start out with shaving one side of my head. That style is kind of "in" right now and something I always wanted to try but was too afraid too!
I wish that I didn't have to fully shave my head that day, cause I wouldn't have minded keeping it around for a while!
The next style I wanted to try out was the infamous Mohawk! It was definitely a once in a lifetime sorta thing and I loved the way it turned out!!
I kind of feel like I'm straight out of the 80's!!
Then came the finale. Shaving it ALL off! I was a little nervous how I was going to look without hair. I was nervous that I would have a weird shaped head or have all sorts of scars from when my mom used to drop me... but surprisingly it wasn't bad at all!
It is one of the hardest things to explain when you feel your head for the first time after shaving it. Best way to explain it is freeing! My showers have never been quicker...my hair drys in literally seconds and now I don't have to worry about a bad hair day!!!
I am so absolutely grateful to my loving husband, friends and family who made it out that day to celebrate MY choice in when my hair was going...not chemo, or cancer's choice! Their support keeps me strong!
Right now, I just had my second dose of chemo on Tuesday, October 8th, and my head has been hurting a lot. It almost feels like pins and needles all over my head. I've had a hard time sleeping the past couple of days because the friction from my hair against the pillow case has made it a pain to sleep. This morning when I woke up it became official: my hairs starting to finally fall out.
Anyone who has to go through chemo and lose their hair, I TOTALLY recommend losing it this way. Although it was hard for me the days leading up and the morning of the head shaving, I would not have changed anything and gave me a little bit of control in an uncontrollable situation.
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